Ground breaking

It’s been particularly hard for me to make friends and keep them around these past few years. Most of the time we end up fighting about something pointless, which results in a broken friendship that just a few weeks ago seemed stronger than ever.

For example, just recently I lost a friend that was really close to me. I don’t even remember what we fought about, but now whenever we pass each other in the hallways at school we just keep walking by. It’s hard to think that all of these months we spent together, inseparable, laughing and crying together, are now no more. I know so much more about this girl than most people and she knows a lot about me too, but now I have to walk by her as if she's nonexistent.

All of those memories, smiles, adventures, inside jokes and tears flash before my eyes as if I was in some sort of trance the entire time. It’s crazy to think how quickly friendships which appear to be as strong as cement can be torn apart with just one argument.

Being kind of on my own has changed my view on a lot of things though. Not worrying about my friends’ stressors has allowed me to be more focused on my own self and school, which is what I really needed.

Having a huge friend group dragged me into a lot of drama that I really did not want to be a part of, yet it continually got put on my shoulders, which eventually took a toll on me. My grades dropped immensely and I never had the chance to realize what was going on in my head and how heavily my problems were affecting me. It was sort of a domino effect.

I’m not saying having a load of friends is necessarily a bad thing! It was awesome having all sorts of people to talk to. But being secluded has really allowed me to see things in a different light.

High school is tough no matter who you are. Things change, people change, friend groups are split and formed, and that’s just how things work. Keeping friends (I find) is hard, but everything happens for a reason.